


What Happens When You Steal Your Roommate's Chips

by AWeirdDuck



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Crack, M/M, Not Serious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2020-05-19 07:43:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19352554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AWeirdDuck/pseuds/AWeirdDuck
Summary: Mal (an Error Sans) thinks that he can get away with such an awful crime. Sadly this oh so gay universe had other plans.





	What Happens When You Steal Your Roommate's Chips

It was a typical day at the dorm. Currently Mal had some free time that allowed him to spend a precious handful of hours cooped up in his room. Well his shared room…. Shared with a filthy parasite. A Fell Parasite actually named Unfresh. 

Since living with them though they haven’t been half bad. They let him get away with his strange Error antics. The strings all over the place, the death threats, his constant sleepless nights…. Then again parasites don’t care much about anything. That’s probably the only reason they bother dealing with him as a roommate. Yeah he’s just gonna keep telling himself that so he doesn’t get caught up on how cute he thinks they are. 

Lets see if that parasite also has at least ONE responsible bone in their body… are there any snacks in the cabinets? He would love to munch on something while watching his fav show about two gay human dorks falling in love on the internet. It’s just reruns today but it was better than staring at the wall...again.

It’s always a gamble searching for snacks seeing how they’re not the best with money. So his mismatched eyes lit up with utter glee as he spotted a mostly full bag of Lays Salted Potato Chips™ 

Oh boy he’s feasting tonight!! Except for… this note. It was taped right on top of the bag. Written in harsh bold sharpie it said in large clearly printed handwriting, “FOR UNFRESH DO NOT TOUCH” 

Ptthhh as if the rules of anything have ever applied to him. Grabbing a generous handful of chips he already started munching. The tv softly humming to life in the other room as it could practically sense his intent. He had a way of messing with tech to fit his needs. 

Plopping down in front of the harsh glow of the screen he was delighted to see that he has turned it on at the perfect time!!! This was his favorite scene… when the two leads of the show find out they have feelings for each other through a misunderstanding over a meme about soup. Oh how his eyes were glued to the screen as if the contents of this show would solve his entire angsty backstory. 

However not even a mere hour later the door was kicked down by Unfresh. Drats his roommate has caught him black, yellow, and most importantly red handed. 

“Ay Mal broski I B needin…are… are ya up an’ eatin’ my funking tator chips man?”

Not even bothering trying to hide the evidence Mal simply gave an over dramatic sigh. Radiating completely shocked and betrayed energy despite all of this being his own fault. 

“There’s a %^&*ing misunderstanding alright. What the hell are you doing here anyway?” 

“Stoppin ya from eatin my tator chips apparnly!!” 

Unfresh struggled to say that big word at the end but that’s okay we all still love him. He got right up in their face and gave an over the top gasp. 

“THE NOTE IS EVEN RIGHT DER!! CAN’T EVEN BE CLAIMIN YA DIDN’T SEE IT” 

Mal was quick to snap right back at them. Not even missing a beat and even cutting the other off a bit as he blurted out, “Thought it said “Free to Eat Please do Touch” not your stupid name…. Not my %^&*ing fault you don’t know how to label your %^&*...” 

With that said he munched on yet another handful of those magnificently delectable oh so salty chips. GOSh they’re so good. 

By now Unfresh has crawled right into their lap. Mal sneering at them as they were WAY too close for comfort…. They know he HATES being touched. GOSH how he hates it. But since being roommates and getting all comfy with each other his fear doesn’t trigger as badly around Unfresh anymore. This has its perks but SO many downsides… such as letting moments like this happen. 

“What the actual flying %^&* are you doing so-”

He was cut off as he jolted at the sudden feeling of Unfresh grabbing one of his hands and plopping his fingers right into their mouth. 

Stunned and only slightly disgusted he paused his sinful munching and crunching to finally make eye contact with them. Which was pointless since the other was wearing shades. 

“WHY???”

Unfresh simply shrugged as he slurped up every last bit of salt from their fingertips. Not joking when saying that those are REALLY good chips.

“Dis wat happens whn you steal my chips…” 

“But I didn’t %^&*ing steal them!!”

“Don’t B sellin me dat shiz.”

With that said he hecking god damn gave them a big fat gay SMOOCH right on the teeth. Bonking their heads together and instantly licking whatever salt there was left behind on Mal’s stupid lying bones. 

In a fit of utter rage Mal /gently/ pushed them away. Just far enough away so he could talk to them without their tongue down his throat.

“FINE I %^&*ing stole them. I’m a big dummy that snatched your %^&*. Is that what you wanted to hear you little cunt?”

Unfresh looked off to the side a bit. Almost blushing a little. Mal totally wasn’t thinking they’re cute or anything. Nope not at all.

“.... ya…” 

YEAH THEY’RE TOTALLY NOT ADORABLE MAL TOTALLY ISN’T THINKING ABOUT HOW GOD DAMN PRECIOUS THEY ARE RIGHT NOW.

“COOL! Now stop %^&*ing licking me for %^&*s sake…”

“Naw~”

“%^&* YOU!”

“NAW FUNK YA” 

“DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT %^&*ING IMPLIES?”

“PROBS NOT”

Mumbling about how impossible they are to deal with he hugged them close. Unfresh was confused but accepting of such an action. He didn’t know why Mal would act the way he does but he really didn’t wanna ask. Didn’t want them getting mad at him for these weird warm fluttery feelings in his lack of a soul that made him...wanna keep being their roommate. 

“....Can I lick da rest of it off? Dey are my chips.. I wanna.. Ya know…” 

“Is that even a %^&*ing question? What sort of %^&*y backwards ^&* question is that? CaN i LiCk tHe ReSt OfF… of course you %^&*ing can since when have I EVER stopped you from doing that….cunt…” 

And so they passionately started to make out and probably had sex 

THE END


End file.
